Thursday, June 17, 2004

Doubts

The more I think about b-school, applications, the admissions process, etc. the more I find myself wondering if I'm really good enough to get in to a top ten program or if I'm only kidding myself. I've never really doubted my abilities in the past, yet for some reason b-school has flipped on the self-doubt switch. I didn't go to an Ivy League school. I've managed money, but I've never managed people. I don't think of myself as a particularly creative writer, so essay anxiety is already starting. Maybe I've been spending too much time reading the BW forums, where everyone seems to have off the chart stats and the "admissions consultants" seem to feed the doubt in order to drive their business. I can see how the forums will become addictive and I need to find alternative, less negative outlets for the nervous energy that comes with this journey.

I had a great discussion with my manager yesterday. We meet one-on-one at least once a month, if not twice, to discuss my development. He gave me some great feedback on the short term goals & improvements I've made and then we started talking about long term goals/path to a promotion. I mentioned that I'd be adding a new wrinkle to consider because I will be applying to b-school in the fall. Very scary moment, laying it out there, waiting for his reaction. He was so positive about it, volunteering himself to write "great" recommendations. I didn't even have to ask. He even volunteered me to proofread them for him since he is not a native English speaker. He's considered b-school in the past and we found out that we scored the same on the GMAT. Funny, all that stress about his reaction for nothing. I should probably apply that lesson to my other b-school related doubts & stress. Not that I should allow myself to become complacent, but I definitely shouldn't get so wound up that it cuts into my beauty sleep.

Check off securing recommendations from the to-do list. Current manager & former manager are both on board!

6 comments:

Quantjock said...

that is one sweet relief.. I need to talk to my manager too but waiting till august for that tete-e-tete :)

Dave for MBA said...

Ok, I can see your blog now. I was stuck in your profile and couldn't see anything else. Glad to see you join the weblog crew. Welcome aboard. My families in the Seattle area too. Poulsbo and Woodinville actually. Looks like you'll be able to make Round 1 applications. With your experience, it sounds like you'll make a fine MBA candidate. Read your blog.. your doing great you sports maniac! :)

CG06 said...

Wakechick,

I was also overwhelmed with self doubt at one point about my ability to gain admission to the programs I'm applying too (Largely due to the fact of reading lots of "stellar" stats and achievements posts and realizing I dont come close to comparing :0) But then I realized I cant compare myself because I'm different and I have take what makes me unique and run with it....

Riter said...

Dear wakechick
I went through all that self-doubt too in the initial stages and a lot of soul searching....as well as hard core research. I think that getting into B-school and eventually as an MBA, we will be constantly required to sell ourselves as really anything we want to do....first we have to convince ourself we can do it and then others. So dont worry about not going to an Ivy league school or any of the typical qualifications. What matters is whats inside and how show it on the outside. Keep it up and good luck!!

Riter said...

And hey, we have this cool (northern) cal group of wharton applicants that will be meeting up sometime toward the end of july. Join us - check out the s2s board link to Round 1 class of 2007 group.

http://mba.wharton.upenn.edu/mba/

Wakechick said...

Thanks for all the encouragement!